April is here and every April a lot of talk about Autism Awareness is going on, I myself have a Autism Awareness magnet on my car. But I think people are really more aware of Autism than ever before what I think we have to start to work on is ACCEPTANCE.
The society need to accept and parents need to accept. Acceptance is not a easy path in any side of our life no matter what is you have to accept. Acceptance means sometimes acknowledge that things will go against our plans and against what we think is right. As parents we like to think we have everything under control and everything specially related to our children if we think there is a problem than we will take care of it we will "fix it".
Doesn't mean we don't have frustrations, doesn't mean we can not get tired but it means that we find new ways to deal with it and accept Autism is not a disease being so there is not a cure no matter how some people and the "youtube " doctors like to say.
Society and parents have to stop to spend so much time and energy in trying to find just how this happens and how can we ever prevent it from happening and instead how they can help and give more chances to those families that can't afford basic therapy for the kids. More work training for Autistic Adults more ABA therapy at schools and so on. This is what we need today.
Some links that inspire me:
Autism Acceptance Month - A web page done by the Autistic Self Advocacy Network formed by Autistic Adults to fight for rights for Adults in the work force.
I'm not waiting my son to grow out of Autism - this great post from Autism mom blogger Autism Wonderland.
And a collection of other great posts from her. HERE
And my favorite movie Loving Lampposts.
I just wish more acceptance in the world.
Jana
Showing posts with label Thoughts about Autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts about Autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Learning to Grieve Pre made Definitions about our Children
Many people and even other mother's don't understand when I say to them I had to grieve my child when I received the diagnose of Autism. I've been from a long period of pain and soul searching and with help I could understand more. Today I see that this process would have been easier if someone had told me that as a parent we have to try not to have pre conceived ideas of what our child will be or what we want them to be. My son didn't die but what need to be grieved was the child I created in my mind and things I imposed in my head about what he was going to be or do or believe.
I think that is what parents that have a constant struggle and suffering suffer with, they can't really obtain the happiness despite the condition of their child or they can't stop blaming someone, something or themselves.
I wanted someone to have told me that as parents we can have dreams about everything of course, we can dream for our child and build and work hard for it. But we can't impose our dream to reality or we can't be angry just because things didn't work the way we thought, I wanted someone have told me just to accept and live life and feel blessed with the life I was given to take care, enjoy the moment and whatever happens to him we will figure this out or we will work hard and accept and move forward with what makes our child happy but not about our self centered parenthood happy.
It's not about just when your child has a disability is not just about or preparing ourselves to the worse. Even in the course of our children's life we keep wanting to impose or make our children follow the path we think is correct, the person they should date, what university we dream them to attend, their religion, what sex they are going to be attracted to. It's about everything !
But when we see our children has some kind of mild disability, can be just a simple speech problem, then we deny, pretend and ignore, sometimes we don't act fast enough because we keep with the illusion that will get better because we want to hold on to the idea we made in our head of what our child should be.
That's the lesson when Autism strikes we have to remember: that is not ABOUT US, WHAT WE WANT WHAT WE WISH WHAT WE WANTED IT TO BE. It's about what it is and see from now on what attitude we are going to have it's about accepting and moving on.
Moving on..
Jana
I think that is what parents that have a constant struggle and suffering suffer with, they can't really obtain the happiness despite the condition of their child or they can't stop blaming someone, something or themselves.
I wanted someone to have told me that as parents we can have dreams about everything of course, we can dream for our child and build and work hard for it. But we can't impose our dream to reality or we can't be angry just because things didn't work the way we thought, I wanted someone have told me just to accept and live life and feel blessed with the life I was given to take care, enjoy the moment and whatever happens to him we will figure this out or we will work hard and accept and move forward with what makes our child happy but not about our self centered parenthood happy.
It's not about just when your child has a disability is not just about or preparing ourselves to the worse. Even in the course of our children's life we keep wanting to impose or make our children follow the path we think is correct, the person they should date, what university we dream them to attend, their religion, what sex they are going to be attracted to. It's about everything !
But when we see our children has some kind of mild disability, can be just a simple speech problem, then we deny, pretend and ignore, sometimes we don't act fast enough because we keep with the illusion that will get better because we want to hold on to the idea we made in our head of what our child should be.
That's the lesson when Autism strikes we have to remember: that is not ABOUT US, WHAT WE WANT WHAT WE WISH WHAT WE WANTED IT TO BE. It's about what it is and see from now on what attitude we are going to have it's about accepting and moving on.
Moving on..
Jana
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